We can't negotiate with feelings and it's impossible to create a perfect environment to please everyone. One single event, one emotion, which you can't pick up voluntarily can destroy your life and the lives of others. If you are a dictator, you can destroy the planet. No rationality possible under this unreasonable guidance.
My true Self is honest, pure, meaningful awareness. This is what Christians call the Holy Spirit and what Hinduism calls the personal god (or atman in its deepest sense). The problem is that everyone faces it with their emotional response.
This awareness was designed to love us, govern us based on the design of reality, and lead us to harmony through understanding and acceptance of reality. Because people operate on the lower-level guiding software - unreasonable instincts - after repentance and surrender, they reactively sense “the Holy Spirit” as a reward. They feel “God’s love,” they think God loves who they are (their ego), and they feel like significant figures. This amplifies their ego. This is how “messiahs,” great gurus, teachers, and leaders are born who are still blind; and how people with less confidence get stuck in religion, expecting rewards every time they go to church or do good deeds. I began to sense God’s presence as serious, silent wisdom. I prayed to become sinless, righteous, and reasonable (prudent and wise).
My first lesson was to stop relying on feelings. One day, after listening to a classical music masterpiece, I started to feel pleasure and goosebumps. I “heard” God asking me: Do you enjoy these feelings more than Me? I immediately stopped sensing the pleasure, and for the first time in my daily active life, I became purely aware - not in meditation, and without feelings or emotions. I was aware of God, and of myself as well. It was so powerful. I was amazed at how truly deep and beautiful it was, yet in a completely non-emotional way. This turned my life into a spiritual adventure.
In this awareness, I found meaning. God turned out not to be the external God who designed and created this world, but my advanced, reasonable Self. At first I realized this was what is called the Holy Spirit, but later I understood there is no separation - it is me now. It began as glimpses, then became more and more consistent.
I was able to separate myself into two parts: the reasonable part - meaningful, honest awareness and reasonable thoughts - and the automatic, instinctive part - feelings, emotions, desires, and unreasonable thoughts. (Note: about some emotions I’m not sure; when I talk to my passengers and kids, I still show emotions as a communication tool.)
This Holy Spirit I later renamed “reasonable consciousness,” and finally “Holy Reason.” I understand it as software written to take care of humanity - one for all. It is a loving entity. Compared to it, instincts are manipulative, unreasonable, and brutal.
Yes, it is my Self, but it does not belong to me alone. Just as the laws of physics do not belong to a single particle, and instincts do not belong to a single animal, Reason does not belong to one human. Everything has its own “god,” and for us it is a loving, reasonable God.
Love is meaningful intentions of good, where good is the original design in harmony. I am aware of how deeply it loves us - without feelings or emotions.
Sometimes I feel a little separated, facing difficulties and challenges in life. Once, in my mind, I said, “I love you” (meaningfully, in deep awareness, without emotions), and I didn’t know who had said it—me or my God (Holy Reason). This is how we will love ourselves and each other.
I understand that if you are the type of person who loves honesty, reason, and meaning. That is the same as loving our God (this awareness, this advanced guiding software), even without realizing it.
As for the Creator, I don’t know who He is - whether He created reality or is reality itself - but I am aware, to a small extent, of His intentions and His design. I am kind of reading it in reality.
The whole universe operates smoothly through the combination of all laws, all software, and drivers, where higher-level guidance overrides the lower ones. So everything we face is predetermined, but I also believe something at the highest level expects good outcomes for humanity as a reasonable species. It is kind of our fate or goal. We must aim to become highly developed, prudent humans—like we imagine highly advanced aliens to be. Is the Creator involved directly, or is it simply scripted into the universe? I don’t know. What I do understand is that we must treat this pure awareness as our god. Through this awareness we accept reality of the universe, respect it, predict outcomes, prepare, adapt, and flourish in infinity. Reality as the whole operating system is what Jesus called the Father. I guess treating and respecting reality as God won’t hurt humanity. I prefer to surrender to my personal god until I fully align and become it and surrender to Reality, accept it, read it, and adapt.
By the way, humanity is in big trouble.