I am not a Christian and have never believed that Jesus is my personal savior.
But…
The story of my awakening began with Jesus’ words, especially his parables. They became the compass I used to understand what to do and where to go.
Several key insights came straight from him:
“I am the temple of God.”
“Let the dead bury their dead” → I realized there are two kinds of death, and only spiritual death actually matters.
The promise of a source of living water springing up inside me and the fact that God Himself can teach me directly, without human teachers.
The absolute necessity of a pure heart: no fixed ideology, no strong opinions, no preferences when I turn to God in prayer—just quiet, humble readiness to bend or discard everything I think I know.
So I prayed honestly: “I don’t know what is true. I’m sorry I can’t see. Send me guidance—Jesus, angels, or You directly.”
Jesus didn’t appear, I never saw angels, so I glued myself to God and begged to be freed from sin.
Back to the parables. When I heard about the pearl of great price and the treasure hidden in the field, I understood: the moment I find the real thing, I will instantly recognize it and sell everything else without hesitation. I asked myself, “What is the most precious thing a human can ever find?” First I thought “God,” then I thought “the Holy Spirit,” because God seemed too high and distant, while His Spirit could live in me.
I also remembered: I must love God more than anything or anyone. Through neuroscience I saw that instinctive, tribal wiring can never let me love my enemies. I needed a completely different operating system—the Holy Spirit.
I looked at Jesus praying in the wilderness for forty days and asked, “Why the desert?” The answer came: my flesh has to go through a desert too—a place where the only water, the only joy, is the Holy Spirit and prayer. So I deliberately created that desert: no music, no video games, no short funny videos, no junk food, no snacks. Denying myself and mortifying the flesh, slowly the instincts lost power. Temptations became irrelevant. Sin became impossible.
Later I realized that righteousness is not something special—it’s the minimum baseline for a real human, the same way it’s no big deal for a wolf to act like a wolf. God’s Spirit is not a magical guest; it is our true nature that makes us truly human.
Another parable that helped me evolve is the story of the master who gave talents (a certain amount of money) to his servants. The two who used and invested theirs multiplied them. The one who buried his talent lost even the little he had. My takeaway: we must actively use the Holy Spirit in everyday life. That is how the transformation happens—we replace the old instinctive operating system with the divine one: Holy Reason.
Everyone who is reborn from God becomes a christ (small “c”)—the same nature, the same motivation, the same understanding.
At some point the separation vanished. The Spirit did not feel like someone inside me—it became me, and I became the Spirit. I stopped wanting what humans normally want. Instead I began to crave harmony, peace, truth, and freedom for the whole of humanity.
Jesus guided me. I am deeply grateful for his words.
If he had not walked that path and spoken those parables two thousand years ago—if he had not died on the cross—would his message have reached me today?
That is my story.
Not Christianity—just the path Jesus actually pointed to, followed to the end.
Jesus also warned that family and friends would not understand, and that many would reject or abandon us. He spoke of the last times: two working in a field, one taken and one left; two sleeping in a bed, one taken and one left. I do not expect mass awakening or acceptance. The few who are ready will hear; the rest will not.
There was more that happened to me on that path, but Jesus’ words and example had the biggest impact on my spiritual awakening.